making poopie

something's happening...

oooh, it's coming!

THERE it is!

I never knew you could obsess so much about bowel movements, and this coming from a veteran of Crohn's disease.... 

Some thoughts/conversations that fill my day:

Has he pooped yet?

Is he making poopie now? 

When did he last poop?

What was it like?

Mushy?

Sticky?

Formed?

Green?

Seedy?

Wait - is that a poopy face, or is he just gassy?

Oooh, that's a smeller!

And then, when it comes:

Wow...

Holy s*?t!

That's a biggie!

Just like spackle (with some color additives)...

Pheewwww!

OMG

Which then means a new diaper for Caleb, and a fresh onesie, and possibly some pants and socks depending on how wriggly he was during the change/wipe (or how far-reaching the poopie). Then I rinse the diaper in the toilet, throw it in the bathroom sink to soak (and later be admired by Caleb's daddy), and PRAY that baby is exhausted enough from doing his big job that he'll nap for an hour or two while I recover.

Then we await the next round :)

how

has more than an entire week gone by since my last post? Where are the days, hours, minutes? How is it that tiny baby Caleb has grown fuller and fatter and longer in the space of a week? It is incredible how he changes EVERY day, just ever-so-slightly. His face is more jowly and less round. His little fingers are reaching and waving and grasping. He has begun to grab the bottle when he eats, and to fling his pacifier across the room with his wee little hands. He pulls my shirt and hair when I hold him. His eyes are ever watchful. What does he see right now? Am I in focus or just a blurry blob that emanates warmth and brings milk? I swear he looks right at me.

I am waiting for the real smiles and gurgles of delight and already feeling the sadness of a period of Caleb's life gone by. One month in this world as of this weekend - amazing. Time never flew so fast, and yet what is it I do all day? I hold him, sing to him, feed him, change his diaper, rock him, dress him, mix his bottles, take his picture, give him his soothie, swaddle him, LOVE him. And that fills up the day....

where's the baby?!?

I went to write in my blog this morning thinking I had some great ideas, and they all escaped me. Who says pregnancy messes with your brain function? I was not and am not pregnant but think that fact has little to do with the way my synapses are misfiring. I have had the same pajamas on for the past 36 hours. I have been mixing bottles, washing bottles, sterilizing bottles and refilling bottles on a mad endless cycle. There are little piles all over the house of tasks begun and abandoned as I hail to the calls of baby Caleb. At 2 1/2 weeks old, he has no fixed timetable just yet, so he - and I - are all over the place. Yesterday I had dumped a load of laundry in one side of his crib so I could fold it and hang out with him while he dozed. I went into our bedroom to put clothes in the dresser and checked on the baby in his bassinet but he wasn't there. Where's the baby?! WHERE'S THE BABY?!??! A frantic loop around our tiny upstairs found him safely in his crib, sleeping, well, like a baby. I swooped him up, knocking his tiny noggin on one of the framed pictures above his bed (now I am rethinking the whole baby-room picture placement) which promptly woke him. There went "my time" to get things done. I have so far tried 3 child slings in an effort to keep baby near and cosy while also alleviating the "where's the baby?!" fears as I putter around the house. None of them work, at least not the way I'd envisioned. Either he's uncomfortable or I'm uncomfortable - bound, claustrophobic, squished. And while I am getting quite accomplished at doing things with one hand while the baby's in the other, I can't help but think there's a small safety issue there....

perfect..................