I am trying hard to take lots of deep breaths. I am avoiding mirrors at all costs. I strive to remember to brush my teeth and take my medications. I am doing my best to avoid looking at the endless laundry, mess, clutter and dust that encroaches. I try not to cry. Instead, in my "free" time (HA!) I shirk as much household responsibility as I possibly can and instead lose myself in the book of the moment. Typically, these days, it is some form of mindless, trashy novel (what my overtaxed, overtired brain can handle right now), though I am getting better at turning said brain off-and-on at will.
Today's book is meant to educate. Today's book promises to elucidate (just where that word came from I have no idea - apparently I give my brain less credit than it deserves!) Caleb's 12-week "fussy phase" and provide me with the tools to understand, accept and endure.
During this period (which ends soon, right? It's been more than a week already!), "baby cries more often and for longer periods." Check. "Baby may be cranky, difficult at night, need extra holding or attention." Check. "Baby may cling to you." Check. "Baby may wake several times in the night, rise very early in the morning, or refuse to take naps during the day." Check.
Panic, exhaustion, irritability and frustration are feelings that parents are meant to feel during this period, says the book. Check. I am right on track!
Two weeks ago I really thought I was getting the hang of mommy-ing. I understood my baby, he had a set schedule, his behavior was predictable. I was sleeping, I was showering, I was eating (somewhat) regularly, I was cleaning and cooking and laundering. I almost had a bounce in my step....
Please someone tell me I'll get back to that happy place. Soon.
