there are days

There are days these days when I am so tired there is nothing to compare it to. Motherhood brings a whole new meaning to the word tired. Nobody could have told me before, and I'm not even sure how to explain it now. But you moms out there know, and maybe some of you dads, too.

Visitors are lovely, but tiring. My mother was here for almost 2 weeks to help with baby Caleb and despite her efforts when she left I was exhausted. Then, the week following, I was a different kind of exhausted from coping at home alone all day while John worked. Then came the visit from Vermont friends and their two children, 5 and and 7. Late nights, early mornings, busy days: exhaustion. Yesterday my mother-and-sister-in-law came for a couple hours, and I was exhausted even before they arrived as I cleaned the house (one-handed, as best I could, taking 17 times as long as usual due to holding a fussy baby in the other arm). But I had a luxurious shower during their visit while they played with Caleb and was even able to blow dry my hair! I felt human for a short while, and baby (and I) took a lovely 2+ hour nap in the afternoon. Heaven.

Caleb even cooperated as I prepared dinner, he sitting happily in his carseat on the kitchen counter as I chopped, diced and sauteed. When Daddy got home (early at 5:15) so I could go for my mammogram, I was thinking, "Whew, a break! I 'll run some errands after my appointment and get out of the house for a bit!" But Daddy's work had other ideas for both his time and mine. So I rushed to the doctor, rushed back home (surreptitiously making a Starbuck's stop on the way), finished making dinner, quickly ate, then was back on baby duty. FOR THE WHOLE NIGHT. As John had a last-minute deadline and was up all night working himself.

So, today is a day already. It's 8:27 a.m. and there are bottles to be washed, formula to be mixed, laundry to be done, trash to be taken out, and I'm in dire need of a nap. Caleb?? Please????